|
This
is the part of the review where I'm supposed to give
you a summary of the film and my views on it. Only problem
is, after just finishing The 13th Warrior, I have no
frickin' idea what I just saw. Maybe I'm just dim or
you think I'm just exaggerating, but I honestly couldn't
tell you what the film is actually about. Here's what
I picked up along the way.
Antonio
Banderas is an Arab ambassador who, by chance, ends
up at the table of a Viking village. A group of these
Vikings are being sent off for some reason to fight
someone. Banderas gets picked as the 13th warrior sent
off to fight by virtue of being the only guy from out
of town when this war lottery takes place. He's not
up to the task, but that's obviously not his choice.
From
their village, they travel across the sea in a computer-generated
boat to some other place where they eventually happen
upon a village needing their help. The village has a
problem with a fire serpent (?) that attacks at night
in the fog and is part man, part bear with the fangs
of a lion and eat the dead. The Vikings are now going
to be responsible for taking on these eaters of the
dead and free the village from their tyranny.
That's
about as specific as I can get. Our Tech Editor Shane
called me at about the halfway point of the movie and
I had to admit to him that I was totally lost in this
film. One of the elements making the film more confusing
than it should have been are the high levels of thick
accents. For the first twenty-minutes, I understood
maybe ten or twelve of the things said.
This
is all the more surprising since just two-weeks ago,
in my review for The
Thomas Crown Affair, I was expressing my like for
all of John McTiernan's films. But I guess all good
things must end because I'd be hard pressed to want
to watch this film again. There are some good set-pieces
to be found in The 13th Warrior, but an incoherent story
holds them all together and that tried my patience more
than I would like it to. Instead of two-hours of escapism
or enjoyment, I found myself, more and more frequently,
looking at my watch.
Video: How Does The Disc Look?
Although
this new anamorphic widescreen DVD is an improvement
over the treatment given to prior Buena Vista releases,
the final result is only 50/50. Any scenes in the daylight
come off beautifully, with a fabulously natural picture.
There's no artifacting and only the bare minimum of
any edge enhancement.
Unfortunately
half the film takes place at night or in dark interiors.
These scenes are virtually unwatchable, with a total
lack of definition. The darker scenes look plugged up
with no shadow detail leaving heads and other lit objects
floating in a canvas of undefined black backgrounds.
Watching one of the night battles, I was left as confused
as ever with no idea who was doing what or even what
they were doing. It's extremely disappointing when viewed
against the beautiful daylight scenes.
Audio: How Does the Disc Sound?
This
is one of the best examples of a genuinely crafted sound
experience, with one problem. The dialog, especially
early on, had an excessively bright sound to it, even
when the re-equalization was engaged. Other than that,
the Dolby Digital soundtrack uses full advantage of
the 5.1 palette, with strong dynamics and creative use
of each channel.
Surrounds
are active almost constantly, with great imaging along
the back and side walls. The mix is directional, not
only in the surrounds but in the front as well with
a wide soundstage the gives an incredible richness to
Jerry Goldsmiths score. The .1 LFE also has a good amount
of work to do, thumping with the crashing waves and
giving the horses gallops their necessary weight. If
it weren't for the brightness in the dialog, this would
rate higher because everything else is amazing!
Supplements: What Goodies Are There? The
film's theatrical trailer is presented in non-anamorphic
widescreen and, in what I believe is a first for Buena
Vista, Dolby Digital 5.1 sound.
Parting Thoughts
I can't
recommend The 13th Warrior based solely on the movie.
The technical aspects of the disc are somewhat impressive,
but they still fall short of what I would consider outstanding.
|
