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Not even a Michael Biehn cameo can save this low-rent slasher misfire....
Kino / 90 Minutes / 2011 / Unrated / Street Date: April 16, 2013
Jacob (Dylan Horne) is one of those guys who just looks super creepy. Whether he’s a lamb of a man with a heart of gold or not, this is a guy you never want to be in a room alone with. He’s a fat, bald, backwoods southerner with piercing eyes and a reticence that all but screams ‘serial killer’. And in this grade-Z slasher flick, we spend an hour learning the backstory of Jacob’s sad existence before people start getting mauled.
Not that even the best horror flicks have innate cultural import, but Jacob’s lack of focus leaves one wondering what the point of the thing is. New and inventive ways of goring yokels with blunt objects might conjure up a modicum of intrigue, but there’s not even a lot of that at hand here.
No, Jacob is a cobbled-together lo-fi slasher that even the most strident Friday the 13th fan might have trouble getting through without resorting to extensive fast-forward button usage. One feels a simmering sadness for our lead character just because he’s been dealt such a tricky hand in life, but again – as slightly empathetic as he might be, the dude creeps me out.