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A group of Londoners get trapped in a warehouse with ooey-gooey monster aliens. Been there, done that, right....?
Magnolia / 87 Minutes / 2012 / Unrated / Street Date: March 12, 2013
In a court of law, I’d never be able to make a convincing argument that Storage 24 is in any way, shape, or form a solid piece of cinematic entertainment. This is retread material of blatantly uninspired quality, and around every turn of its cheesy narrative expanse, even viewers with a minimal experience with the horror genre will be able to foresee every screech and alien appearance that awaits them. But I have to admit: as crappy as Storage 24 probably is, I had a blast watching it.
Here’s its shtick: a military plane crashes over London, and it turns out that (surprise, surprise) the aircraft was not on a basic maneuver. In fact, it was carrying a top-secret cargo that is not of this world, and after the crash, these contents were now free to run around London. The metropolis goes on complete lockdown, and this means that in one corner of town, a handful of people in an abandoned warehouse become trapped… and they’re not alone.
You can imagine the Saw-cum-Cube gore-splosions that ensue in Storage 24, but even though the movie is riddled with pretentious dialogue and a structure that all but reeks of Screenwriting 101, it somehow embraces its Z-grade sensibilities enough that its dum-dum dramatic attitudes work well within its particular narrative shape. This is the kind of movie that horror fans might just find more than marginally amusing as a post-midnight weekend feature, an affair that inspires huge critical accolades like, “Not quite as shitty as you might think!”
Plus, any excuse to watch idiotic co-eds getting torn apart by caterpillar-looking extraterrestrials is a good excuse. Am I right?