DVDFile

Universal / 103 Minutes / 2011 / Rated R / Street Date: January 31, 2012

Not just a remake of John Carpenter's remake but a prequel to it (really?), Matthijs van Heijningen's The Thing, if anything, makes Carpenter's film seem twice as solid as it ever was. What was so great about Kurt Russell and company was that the movie snuck up on you - it remains one of the most engaging and watchable genre flicks of the era, and it's an unbelievably fun movie to share with folks who've never seen it before (watching new viewers jump during the Petri dish scene is particularly rewarding).

This new version is able to pull off a few screeches and scares - as most films like it will - but there's zero subtlety to it. This isn't to say that John Carpenter is a minimalistic filmmaker in any regard, but in his Thing there are narrative peaks and valleys, build-ups and pay-offs that don't simply pull LOUDquietLOUD shocks out of its audience. In short, his Thing had savvy where this new one does not.

As this Thing opens, we learn that a team of Norwegian scientists have come upon a discovery of epic proportions: They haven't just found a crashed ship of extraterrestrial origins, but there is some kind of deceased organism within the wreckage. This is the dream of a lifetime for paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), who - with the help of a crackerjack team led by pilot Joel Edgerton - heads to the site to check it out. The dead alien then comes to life and showcases the ability to mimic any human form it pleases, leaving the remote squad in a Ten Little Indians-esque state of unrest.

After completely falling victim to the predictable yet evocative whims of Warrior, I can clearly state that Joel Edgerton is a dude to follow: From his minimal turn as Uncle Owen in Star Wars to this kind of stoic, earnest part, he has both the boyish charm and emotional gravitas to draw us in. The rest of the cast and the bumbling script they're all saddled with don't have nearly as much to offer. They should have left this Thing under the ice.