Clash of the Titans: BD Review
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Page 1 of 3 Warner / 106 Minutes / 2010 / Rated PG-13 / Street Date: July 27, 2010
Clash of the Titans is grade-A dumbass cinema, but anyone who bought a ticket to its cinematic debut earlier this year (hopefully) knew that in advance. If anything, Clash proves one of the more strident and reliable truisms of the Hollywood mega-blockbuster ethos: A movie doesn't have to be good or interesting or relevant in any way to be even just marginally entertaining. What Warner had in its pocket with Clash of the Titans was Liam Neeson dressed up like a giant drag queen Hagrid from Hogwarts using his biggest, boomiest voice to proclaim in a rasp: "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!" We don't care what the Kraken actually is; we don't care what it looks like at all; we have no real investment in it: It just sounds cool. During the preview for the film, every frame is blah video-game action nonsense, but when things slow down and Liam prepares the hounds of Hell, there's no denying that at the very least, we lemmings want to know what the damned thing looks like.
But, unfortunately, Clash of the Titans is all action-flick nostalgia build-up and no delivery. The interplay between Zeus (Neeson), Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and noble Perseus (Sam Worthington) is paint-by-numbers at best - Clash is admirable in that it tries to spend as little time with expository dialogue and plot development as possible between fight sequences - and even when our beloved Kraken shows up (with a team of other awful nasties), Clash of the Titans proves that, to be frank, its preview was better than the film itself. That being said, though, I earnestly mean it when I say that sometimes that's enough. No one in their right mind could defend this remake of Clash of the Titans as a legitimately, narratively about-itself masterpiece, but as a card-carrying sucker for movies like this one, I can definitely confirm that I've seen worse. What I needed out of Clash of the Titans on Blu-ray was a watchable fantasy epic with capably-shot action scenes that inspired me to say 'Whoa!' or "Cool!' once (maybe twice). I got what I wished for (barely...). |
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