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IMAGINE THIS: A DREAMER'S DREAM by Zach Milwood The following fantastical scenario was submitted by Zach Milwood, and we thought it was very entertaining and a fun read. We hope it gives you a smile...
"You rush out to Best Buy to purchase the biggest movie ever on DVD. You fork over the $29.99 plus tax without batting an eye. You weave your vehicle in and out of traffic, going 85 in a 55 zone. Upon reaching your driveway, you turn the steering wheel hard and slam on the brakes. Fumbling with your keys that never seem to cooperate, you finally unlock the door and make it inside. You turn on your widescreen television, fire up the Dolby Digital receiver and your new DVD player with the component video outputs. The tray opens. You rip the plastic off of your new DVD in its beautiful Amaray package, gingerly removing the elegant disc. It has a matte black finish on the top, with a beautifully embossed, ever familiar title written on it. On the flip side of the disc is a dual layer, 16x9 masterpiece. You set it into the tray, sprint to the couch, making sure every light in the house is extinguished, every curtain drawn. Reaching for the remote, you take a deep breath and hit the close button. The tray retracts. The faint whirring of the disc spinning is a melody to your ears. The television screen goes black...the 5.1 indicator on your receiver lights up...and the music starts. Dum, dum-da-dum, da-da-dum, dum, dum, dum...an X-wing fighter chases a TIE fighter across your screen. The sound whirs all around you as your senses heighten and your chest constricts. The fighters chase each other and come straight at you until they fill the screen, as it wipes to a gorgeous menu screen, with full motion video of the Death Star battle lightly superimposed and 5.1 sound. The options are 'which edition do you choose, special features, scene selections, soundtrack, and DVD-ROM features. You select 'which edition do you choose,' and go to another screen that lists the original '77 cut or the enhanced '97 special edition. You select back to return to the main menu. You select the 'soundtrack' option, and at this screen you have the option of hearing Dolby Digital 5.1, Dolby Digital 6.1, or an audio-only soundtrack of John Williams most famous score. You return to the main menu. You highlight 'scene selections' and are taken to full motion scenes of the movie. But wait, what is that you just barely see in the corner? Is it a lightsaber? You find a way to select it with your remote, and the lightsaber extends, then strikes, wiping away the old screen to reveal an interview with George Lucas and the gang. Wow. You return again to the main menu, and select special features. Here you can find 3 dimensional models of the gadgets found in the film, theatrical trailers for both original and special editions, and you can read original critical reviews of the film, even including Pauline Kael's. But wait! Is that a Millennium Falcon barely visible at the bottom right corner. It is! You highlight it, it lifts off and goes across the screen, wiping to a hidden theatrical trailer of Raiders of the Lost Ark! After it has completed, you lean back into the couch exhausted, primarily because you've been on the edge of it since the beginning. And the movie hasn't even started yet! You say a silent prayer, thanking the maker for all things DVD and home theatre, and ask for the strength and stamina to actually start the movie. Well, we can wish, can't we? |
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"Imagine
This..."